A HOMELESS COLUMN

Below is a sports column that was originally intended for the Aug. 25 edition of the Sun Journal. Coincidentally, my editor chose the exact same topic for his column, so this one won't see the light of day--except on the Web. Hope you enjoy it!

Unworthy of the gold

By Corey Friedman

What does one do with an unearned Olympic gold medal?
An eBay auction to find the highest bidder comes immediately to mind, but if the medal's owner should want to keep it, maybe it could be pressed into service as a beverage coaster.
It certainly wouldn't belong in a trophy case, or even on a dusty particle board shelf, wedged between faded Little League plaques and elementary school attendance awards.
Stumped as to where would be appropriate to display such an undeserved bauble? Just ask Paul Hamm.
The American gymnast was presented with the gold medal for the men's all-around final on Wednesday, but officials later discovered that the bronze medallist received a lower start value than he should have been awarded. Tack on the extra tenth of a point that judges erroneously omitted from his score, and the bronze medallist--South Korean gymnast Yang Tae-young--would have edged out Hamm for the gold.
Three judges were suspended on Saturday for the grave miscalculation, but the International Gymnastics Federation said the results would not be altered and Hamm wouldn't be stripped of his medal, the Associated Press reported.
The question is, if you are awarded a gold medal in error, why wouldn't you surrender it voluntarily? Hamm wasn't really the best on Wednesday, and he knows it. While Tae-young is sulking and rightfully cursing the bamboozled judges and their fuzzy math, Hamm will be strutting around with a medal he hasn't really earned.
USA Gymnastics president Bob Colarossi "insisted the federation's decision should not put an asterisk on Hamm's gold medal," the AP reported.
Why on earth would true sportsmen and Olympic purists put an asterisk on poor Paul Hamm's gold medal? OK, so he didn’t technically deserve the medal, but does that really diminish his remarkable accomplishments?
It should, but it won't.
The South Korean delegation is incensed, and they have good reason to be. Country officials will bring the matter before the Court of Arbitration for Sports, which will determine whether Tae-young will receive a gold medal.
Like the 2000 Florida recount imbroglio in an international arena, this ugly incident is reinforcing the idea that Americans will use miscounts and mathematical sleight of hand to their advantage. In Hamm's defense, I should point out that neither he nor the three suspended judges have been accused of any kind of deceit or impropriety.
But the funny thing about stereotypes is they don't have to be 100 percent true to become international canon.
If Hamm had the integrity of a true Olympian, he would return the medal and refuse to claim such an undeserved prize. Since that hasn't happened, it’s not unreasonable to expect that he will try to capitalize on his ill-gotten gains.
Maybe he can do TV commercials. I hear Gold Medal flour is looking for a new spokesman.
Hamm seems to think the medallion is like a card from the Monopoly board game that says "Bank error in your favor. Collect $50." Someone had to make a colossal mistake for him to receive his reward, but as far as Hamm is concerned, it's his lucky day.
Of course, compared with the pewter top hat, Scotty dog and thimble, an Olympic gold medal would make a great gamepiece. Maybe that's what he'll use it for. He definitely won't display it with pride on the mantel.
Or at least, he shouldn't.
Corey Friedman can be reached at 638-8101 ext. 271 or at corey_friedman@link.freedom.com.