'JINXY' DIAGNOSED WITH TERMINAL AILMENT

Quality Tune-Up sources revealed today that "Jinxy," this blog's 1996 Chevrolet Corsica, has less than a week to live.

During the course of an all-too-routine trip to the auto shop after Jinxy's oil light came on unexpectedly, mechanic "Hot Rod" discovered burning oil--a telltale sign of oil pump failure. Rod estimated that the cost of replacing the motor would significantly exceed the value of the seven year-old car itself.

"Shoot her, 'cause she's dead, man," Rod said. "Put a bag of potato chips in the front seat, drive it to Lawson's Creek and set it on fire."

Oil pump failure will cause the pistons to fail, mechanics said, and Jinxy's oil pump will last for an indeterminate amount of time--several days to a week--before the pump will shut off, causing Jinxy to suffocate under insufficient oil delivery.

A decision is expected late this week on the disposition of the grey four-door compact, which has been designated an organ donor and will be sold for parts.

A replacement for the car--which has served as this blog's primary vehicle since December of 2002--has not yet been named.