SADDAM'S SONS KILLED IN BATTLE

The biggest fish of all may have gotten away, but the U.S. has finally hooked a pair of trophy mackerels. Uday and Qusay Hussein, sons of former Iraqi president Saddam Hussein, were confirmed dead earlier today following a four-hour firefight while holed up in a stately mansion in the northern Iraqi city of Mosul, U.S. officials said. Fox News reported that the announcement sparked skirmishes in the capital city of Baghdad; it was unclear whether Iraqis fired intentionally at U.S. targets or fired celebratory rounds into the air. A Fox commentator opined unceremoniously that Saddam may need a change of shorts following the confirmation of his sons' death. But it was funny. Oh so funny.