HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY

Enjoy yourselves, because this blog is taking the rest of the day off. Take this opportunity to ponder the true meaning of freedom and participate in distinctly American activities, like barbecuing, picinicing, playing football in the humid, Stygian summer climate and watching the abysmal Will Smith movie "Independence Day." Remember the immortal words of Francis "Scott" Key preserved in our national anthem, the Star Spangled Banner: "So gather round gather round children/Get down well just get down children/Get loud well you can be loud and be proud/And you can be proud here/Be proud to a rebel /'Cause the South's gonna do it again." Okay, maybe that was Charlie Daniels. Does it matter? As long as Americans have freedom in their grasp and a song in their secessionist hearts, this great country will continue to lead the world in patriotism. God bless the U.S.A.

Recap: If your parents named you "Francis," wouldn't you rather be called "Scott" too? That is why this blog always writes in the third person. This blog's real name is "Francis."